Nepal, famous for its export of GRAVITY and cool flags, distinguishes itself by keeping its own time zone, 15 minutes in between its neighboring time zones. Why the fuck does Nepal need this extra 15 minutes? Every country below or above them falls into either the 00 or the 30 time zone, but they just have to be different. Nepal, however, is not the most abominable of Time Zones. Oh no, that distinction goes to:
The Mountain Time Zone(MTZ)!!!

The MTZ is an offense to God, David Bowie, and freedom. I'm sure it has its nice spots, but overall, the MTZ is just a spacetaker on the map of Manifest Destiny. Idaho? Wyoming? Montana? There is NOTHING redeemable about those places, save for potatoes and Boise State Athletics. Do you want to know all the badness the MTZ is home to?
Mormon Fundamentalists
Dapper Dick
Area 51
Militias
Broncos Fans
Not to mention a smattering of Aryan Nation compounds. Essentially, the Moutain Time Zone is the 1984 NFL Draft Quarterback Class of Evil. It's unparalleled.
How do we deal with this problem? The MTZ needs to be dissolved. Chinacovers at least three time zones worth of land, but only goes by one time zone. Extreme Western Alaska goes by Alaskan time, two hours ahead of what should the time should be in its actual time zone, Samoan Time Zone. So, we could partition it up between Pacific and Central, or just combine Eastern and Central into one time zone, and Pacific and Mountain into another.
The most fitting option would be to just ignore the MTZ, dont allow it any time standard whatsoever. In a lot of ways, this is alreayd happening. When you hear a commercial advertising a tv show, you only hear Eastern, Central and Pacific, never Mountain. But TV is stupid. That would be such a crazy idea. Kind of like spending a half hour railing on about the mountain Time Zone....

No comments:
Post a Comment